September Surrender: Day Sixteen
My family takes a lot of notes. I do it, my mom did it, my dad does it, even my boyfriend does it. We’re list people. We write down everything just so we can see it all laid out in front of us. If we put down a list of things that need to get done, chances are higher that they’ll actually get done. While I’ve benefitted from listing my duties in the past, more often than not I’m just jotting down notes about what I see. I justify it as “I’m a writer,” so I have to make sure I document all that goes on around me, just in case I need to use it later. But a lot of the time, it’s just writing for the sake of writing. I get so caught up in the chicken-scratch that I don’t utilize my notetaking for when it really counts.
At the end of the Italy trip, we had to do a little interview with the director, who asked us various questions about our experiences thus far. She had handed out the questions earlier, but something in me said I didn’t need to look at them. That I was somehow a professional talking head and I could wow the audience with just my good looks. Things went off quite the opposite, as I was entirely unprepared, distracted by occasional police sirens punctuating the backdrop. I stuttered, stumbled, and ultimately felt like a failure. I wouldn’t have been surprised if they scratched me right off as a participant in their production.
The next day we got a message in the group chat that a few of us had to redo our interviews because of a microphone issue. I was on that list. I thanked my lucky stars that I was given a mulligan on such a crappy interview, so I actually prepared this time. I read over the questions, spoke out loud to myself in the mirror, and took notes about it. Very messy, rudimentary notes, but I was able to put on my performance when in front of the camera next, giving coherent, confident answers only sometimes interrupted by the sirens. It’s crazy how easy it was to refer to my notes, and even crazier that I didn’t even think to write them down in the first place.
Using my laptop to type things out is always a plus, but it’s not the easiest thing to whip out every time I have a thought. I’m going to be putting pen to paper a lot more around here, as it feels more real to write it out for yourself. It’s like each etching across the page is another stroke toward holding myself accountable and actually accomplishing all I’ve inked into existence. And there’s a lot on the agenda, now that we’re looking to help my dad clear out his home and give him a comfortable setting at home base. There’s a laundry list of stuff in that house. Mapping out the plan of attack seems the most logical next step here. When it’s time to announce our progress, I’ll be prepped and ready with all the right answers.