September Surrender: Day Fourteen
My boyfriend is here in the city with me this weekend. A small part of me wanted to just spend this time all by myself to decompress after my trip. But I’m glad he’s here all the same. I’m trying right now to get him to watch Phantom of the Opera but efforts are not going all that great. It’s fine. He knew what he was walking into, especially since my apartment is still a gigantic post-unpacking mess. And for the first time, I was going to let him see it all, as it was a testament to how I live when he’s not here.
Usually before he comes over, I’m in cleaning mode. I tell him I just want to set a standard for him so he can see my home at its absolute best. That means cleaning the floors, vacuuming, scrubbing the counters and sinks. My new standards led me to even putting a hand vacuum under the bathroom sink so I can suck up any dust or hair that may find its way to the floor. I’m glad to do it. I like taking care of my home for him, just as he does the same for me and his place.
I woke up early enough, still fighting jetlag and the snooze alarm. I had it in my mind to clear away all the shoes and toiletries I have lying around. But I looked over at the pile and decided to leave it where it is. My boyfriend was already on the train by the time I got up, and we agreed that he’d make his way to the apartment himself instead of me meeting him at Penn Station. He has my extra keys, so I expected him to open the door and get a peek into my controlled chaos. Normally I’d be mortified, but I felt nothing but comfort. He passed no judgment, and even helped me do laundry that I folded and didn’t put away. The apartment right now is an absolute mess, and he needed to see it.
I’ll get everything clean around here eventually. He’s welcome to help. But sometimes those standards get thrown for a loop when there’s extenuating circumstances keeping me from maintaining them. We can’t always be perfect, and we’re not always going to be able to hide it. But with a little elbow grease, things can certainly get done. It’s just for the first time, I didn’t apologize for my clutter. It’s nice to have someone who will love you whether your life is spotless or not.
By the way, he actually watched Phantom all the way through while I napped. And he liked it. How’s that for a pure operatic experience?