My December to Remember 3: Day Thirty
News: Motion to remove Shenna Bellows from Maine Sec of State role as she reveals she’s getting the dreaded death threats from mad people.
NJ man accused of trying to join Islamic terror group.
Six charges dropped against Sam Bankman-Fried, won’t face second fraud trial.
My roof deck is gone. I think. That’s what they said at the shareholder’s meeting, but I haven’t actually gone up there to check yet. I feel like I’m not allowed to, even though I’ve got the keys. It’s also just such a hassle to go out there these days, especially when there’s nothing compelling me to. I go to work and will occasionally go out when invited, but that’s it. Once in a while, I’ll take a ten-minute stroll or a sit, but even that’s getting too depressing to do. It’s so unpleasant to be out there right now. New York City just feels dirty and stale; A modern day wasteland of sorts. It’s the delivery bikes. They’re everywhere. Always on the move. Or parked illegally. It’s scary to cross the street sometimes because they could come from any direction, don’t obey the traffic laws and ride on the sidewalks. Why would I subject myself to any of that when I’m in the world’s best apartment with everything I need? And I mean that literally. My supply closet is packed. Freeze-dried provisions are in the back. And now I have a fire extinguisher in case things get heated. Why move?
But we all get restless sometimes. My roof deck provided the escape while still being able to feel the New York City vibe. We were only allowed to be up there until 10:00PM each night, and a lot of the time I had it all to myself. It was a respite. They took good care of it with places to sit, tan, drink, eat; Even other stuff if it was late enough and there was wine present. It was how I could be in the city at night again, and the one place it truly felt safe enough to do so. Some days I lacked the motivation to get up and go, but other times I was glad to have made the effort to leave my safe space, if only for a little bit.
Even though the structure is gone, I’ve got good word that it will be back in some capacity. It just won’t be what it used to be, but it’ll at least be up to code if one of the new inspectors comes to see. Still, the wheels are in motion, the board is doing what it can, even though we’ll be sharing our space with a bunch of solar panels soon. We’re playing the city’s game of subsidies for installing them, even though I hope somehow the deal doesn’t need to go through. Lots of decisions are being made, lots of things are on the move, so I may as well stay put while it all goes down.
A city like New York has to be on the move all the time. There’s eight million of us here, all with a story to tell. And while it’s sometimes too much to ask for me to go out and see it, there’s something to be said about the well-oiled machine constantly in flux outside my four walls. My hope is that there’s something out there, greater than what I can provide, that actually spurs on the reasons to get us functioning again. Where we can all feel like it’s worth it to get out there. They cloistered us in for so long that the interior is all we know. I hope one day we’ll all have a reason to join the movement, stop sitting on our lazy butts and normalizing a self-imposed lockdown. It’s not pandemic times anymore, New York. It’s safe to go out to pick up dinner again, and not keep the illegal delivery schemes going.
I’ll always love this city and the feeling I get of being just a small little blip in the sprawling metropolis. Even the tiniest movement is significant enough to show up on the radar. Being out there, even just for a minute, can change the energy more than you know. I did go out for ten minutes today and felt things were different. In a good way. I’ll have to wait until the new year to keep doing my part and my roof deck comes back, because there will be times that meeting the city streets is just not the option. A lot of moves have to happen that are well above my paygrade.
I need not ask myself “should I stay or should I go?” I have a feeling we’ll all find out exactly what to do when the new year hits. For now, it’s the hibernation times. I only need to hunker down a little longer before I catch a blissful ride off into the sunset. Finally.
