I know I haven’t been here. I know I left you hanging. I know all these things and I apologize. Let’s just say it’s been an eventful month or so. Some words were spoken here and there and I let my words here get away from me. So I am sorry for that. But it might be for the best, as it seems like things have to come to a close here too. And I was just waiting for the right moment to finally say goodbye.
I had started recapping September Surrender Year Three shortly after the end of the month. That includes going through and re-reading everything I’ve written, which is never as bad as I think it is after hitting “publish.” But as I got closer to the final few entries, it seemed a fruitless endeavor to relay back to you all I’ve learned in a thirty day period. What would be the point? You read it, I read it, for chrissake I lived it. I think at this point the picture’s been got, right?
And that’s how I’ve been feeling about these monthly challenges here. I made mention of wanting to close the book on this version of the blog back in the final June Renew. And after the thinned-out September Surrender, it became clear to me that I do need to leave this part of me behind, at least for now, and transform my writing into something new.
This series of challenges began as a way to hold myself accountable and consistent through something I like to do. I’m glad I did it. But I don’t think I can continue. Things here became more of a chore than a passion, and I’d find myself dreading each and every upcoming month, because I knew what was ahead and couldn’t stop it from happening. All of it my own self-imposed cage I could open at any time. It’s hard to believe that about myself, considering how much I bloviate about the writing profession, all while downright detesting the path I’ve chosen for it.
But that won’t mean I’m going to stop writing. Oh, no, I’ll be doing that forever. I just need to make sure this road I’m walking is free of the hurdles I keep putting in the way. I’ll have more ability to write elsewhere if I don’t feel constrained by what’s kept me here. I’ll keep this blog live as the stories I’ve shared deserve to stay told, but by the end of this year, I’ll have decided where I’m going to find myself next. Because we’ve got one more challenge to put to bed, and I think this one may be the most important one of all.
Next month will be My December to Remember Year Four, and what a perfect note to end on, another fourth and final one. It’s the month I choose to relate all my life stories to where the news is, yet another aspect of my life I’d be fine to leave behind. But since we’re not at the point where I can shut the TV off (and how this is actually an exciting news cycle to cover), I’m going to give it one last go in order to tell just a few more of my stories. I know how you love them, and it’s never been more clear. Because I love them too. It’s just become time to tuck them away, with only a remaining possibility they’ll be seen again one day.
So that’s it. I’ll be paying attention to the news, like always, hoping to find something to relate to this time around. Things are finally getting real out there, and fortunately I’m here for it. I just won’t be here here for long, but I promise you’ll find me the moment I resurface. For now, we’re left with the memories, and one final chance to remember.
See you on Sunday.