September Surrender: Day Twenty Six
It’s been a day. A week. An entire news cycle that’s only getting crazier. A time where I feel the need to crack open a craft beer at 2:00PM on a Thursday. Hey now, I worked all morning. I needed to let off a little steam.
I keep doing this when my boyfriend calls. Our post-work conversations just end up mostly being about me and my mid-work drama. I feel bad bogging him down with it. I’m thankful he’s such a good listener. And he comes back with solutions to my problems too. Maybe sometime just a gentle word. Or calling someone a pr*ck. Either way, it’s very helpful feeling like there’s someone there who wants to hear me vent. Because he knows I’d do it for him, too. But I wonder if I’m somehow making things worse by being the more overbearing one when it comes to letting it all out.
Things could be better at work right now. With so much going on, it’s very easy to feel like the control over your own feelings is falling away. I’m not getting the brunt of the ire this time, but I’m having run-ins all on my own. I see my colleagues going through it and, for the first time today, realized that they too must have someone they can vent to as well. It’s an incredibly important thing to have in order to keep your sanity measured, and it felt comforting to know I’m surrounded by people who know at least one person who helps keep the valves in check.
It made me really understand what it means to be in a relationship. To have and to hold someone and listen to all their yammering. Because sometimes serious stuff needs to come to the surface, especially when your situation has simmered long enough. And I intend to keep this dynamic up, as long as I’m doing it with someone I love and who loves me back. He’s listening because he cares. And that’s all I can really ask for. Because things are certainly boiling over, and sometimes only the calmness of another’s mind can keep the lid from flying off.