September Surrender: Day One
My supply closet is full. It’s organized for the most part, but there’s not a whole lot of room left. Which is fine, considering it’s filled to the brim. I’ve overbought, I know, especially light bulbs. But my days of post-pandemic panic seem to be falling by the wayside after it became clear that my squirreling away is only taking up space. There’s a lot I could be preparing for instead that doesn’t have to do with hoarding for the sake of hoarding. And even though I’m not on my own anymore, it’s pointless to keep purchasing like I’m buying for two.
It all started when my boyfriend came into the city over one of these past weekends. We had stopped in the nearby Whole Foods when I alerted him I needed to pick up toilet paper. “You need to get the softer kind,” he told me, as what I was buying, the Seventh Generation recycled six-pack, was just too rough for the more sensitive areas. I didn’t want him making fun of my environmentally-friendly choices, so I offered to head to CVS and pick up a brand he likes, which turned out to be the Charmin Ultra Gentle kind. When we got home, I brough the extra TP over to the supply closet and added it to the bottom of the stack of three already in there.
“Why do you have so much toilet paper?” he asked me. I sheepishly told him that I just wanted to have enough at all times so I’ll never run out. He had to remind me these aren’t pandemic times anymore, and the scramble to save wasn’t nearly as necessary. So when I looked at the now twenty-four rolls stacked high in my closet, it all just seemed so superfluous. That was in addition to my two extra dishwashing liquids, three extra tubes of toothpaste, four extra Seventh Generation multi-surface wipes, three extra deodorants…etc…etc…
“You may want to think about downsizing,” he told me, explaining I was needlessly spending when I certainly didn’t need to, and that I already plenty at my disposal. It was then I realized just how much I was clinging onto this need for preparedness, only because I was so unsure about the future. I felt like having more than enough ensured my place in the world. Things felt so out of control around me, but at least I had enough wares for whatever came next. Only now, for me, the future is more secure than it’s ever been, so pack-ratting seems like one more thing I can take off the shelf.
I’ve decided to let things go for a little bit as I find my supplies whittling down. When the next six-pack of TP is used up, I won’t go running to buy another. I just had to open a new toothpaste with two more sitting in the closet. Maybe I’ll think about replenishing my reserves once I’m down to the final tube. It’s a little change, but it’s a better way to do things. I’m looking forward to more space to work with inside my home until the day I’m in our shared home, actually buying for two. Or more.
By the way, the boyfriend is right about the softer toilet paper. But one extra pack will do just fine.