February Focus: Day Eight
I’ll keep this short today, as I’ve been up since 4:00AM. I hadn’t packed for my trip whatsoever and I kept letting sleep take over as I tried to peel myself off the couch last night. I originally wrote in my notes how much I suck at packing, but as I drove the four-and-a-half hours today, I realized that’s not as much of the case as I think.
I had everything mapped out. Clothes in the suitcase. Separate bag for my toiletries and other loose objects. Backpack for books and my laptop. Paper bag for the cat supplies and recyclable litter box. And of course, the carrier for the cat herself. Five bags for one person and a cat. It seems like a lot, but as I was gathering my things, giving myself an hourly timetable to work with, I realized how much it was all making sense. I’m not in a hotel, I have to stock my cabin myself right now. I need to bring all the amenities of home as I rent the home of another. But something I did not bring with me is what’s been weighing down my luggage all these past trips.
Today marked for me what my life would actually be like if I had no corporate obligation. If I was living off myself and making my own rules. I got a million things done today and the only thing I forgot was a fresh pen for my night journal. Otherwise, as I got into my midsize SUV, gathered the cat into her carrier and into the front seat, I felt a security driving I had not felt before. My trip took no time at all to get up here. My clear head was also a side passenger it seems.
I traveled a lot last year. I travel a lot in general. But each time I go, my journey to get there is riddled with regrets and angst. It’s like I’m hoping my exterior travels will quell the internal pain. It’s a lot of wondering and waiting and wishing for something different. Not this time. This time, the trip is just for me. A real chance to step away from the nonstop work life and city woes. This time, it felt like I printed my own ticket with no limits on where I could put my things.
My plans while I’m here are to write, read, relax, and maybe ski if I’m willing to drop $380 for a day pass and equipment rentals. I’ve never been so excited to be on vacation. Though I wonder how ‘clear’ I’ll really stand to be. I am in Vermont, after all. I hear their ‘gear’ is the best. Enough to stow away for another rainy day.