February Focus: Day Seven
Walking around this city is such a bummer these days. It’s just drab and dreary. It doesn’t look clean. It probably smells. I can’t wait to take some time away from it and get back to nature. I don’t care how cold I’ll be up in the mountains, at least I won’t be here to see all the things I see.
I’ve complained about this before here, many times in fact, but I can’t stand watching people walk around with their heads buried in their phones. It’s really one of the worst habits of the modern age. It just feels so impersonal, like you’re so concerned with all the stuff going on elsewhere that you can’t be bothered to see what’s going on around you. I’m getting a really terrible urge to start smacking the phones out of people’s hands as I walk by. I wouldn’t even be prosecuted for it. I’d just become another New York assh*le. But it’s not really funny considering there’s people on mopeds willing to snatch things away from New Yorkers. We’re not paying attention to anything, and there’s never been a more crucial time to do so.
The most I’ll do is listen to my headphones while walking. I need to be keenly aware of all the craziness surrounding me. You aren’t even safe on the Upper East Side anymore. Still, there’s a part of me that knows, or at least wants to believe, that no one would even try to mess with me on these mean streets of mine. Which is why I have to be very careful with what I project as I go.
Back in either 2016 or 2017, I was walking over on the East side for a laser hair removal appointment. And I wasn’t having a good day. I was feeling very sad about something entirely out of my control and I wasn’t even trying to hide it. In a place as big as New York City, you can walk down the street with tears streaming down your face and no one will pay you any mind.
So there I was, lost in thought, praying with my entire soul that things with this situation would finally go in my favor. Two guys were walking toward me and as they passed, one of them without warning reached out and grabbed my hand. I ripped it away immediately and screamed at the very top of my lungs, “DON’T YOU F*CKING TOUCH ME, ASSH*LE!” They had already walked by, looking back like I was crazy as I stood there with balled fists, furious at the violation I had just been subjected to. Others on the street also wondered what just happened. Didn’t matter to me. It only proved to me that even when I’m not fully mindful, I’m still aware enough to prepare for all that’s ahead.
I’m just not sure if or when everyone else will also be on such high alert.
I didn’t mean for this to turn into another ‘technology bad’ entry, but the phone thing really bothers me. I don’t want to dodge people looking down at something unimportant when it feels like looking up is so necessary these days. It’s not even for my sake, you know my crazy ass will be just fine. It’s for them. I worry we’re losing our humanity, our ability to speak to one another and converse once more. When will presence of mind translate into being present with one’s self? Will it ever happen again? Or have we done permanent damage to our attention spans? Perhaps what’s really needed is the radio silence to turn our attention to what’s really going on behind the curtain.
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