My December to Remember 3: Day Twenty-Two
News: SCOTUS rejects Jack Smith’s request for expedited immunity hearing for Trump.
Matt Gaetz calling for Delta CEO Ed Bastian to testify on what he knows about illegal migrants being flown across the country without documentation.
Let me tell you about the most evil thing I’ve ever done. I swear I’ve written about this before, but for the life of me I can’t find it on this blog. So apologies if you’ve heard this one already. I’m not trying to intentionally piss you off.
I spent my kindergarten in the public school system I’d later re-enter in high school. My mom wanted to put me in Catholic school, the same one she and the rest of her family went to, after being displeased with how things were being ran around the classroom. I didn’t dislike it. I remember being put in the gifted and talented program, getting to go once a week to a special class with the other smart kids. I completely forget what we did in there, but I was five, so cut me some slack. But maybe I shouldn’t discount my young age, since even the littlest among us can be downright cruel sometimes.
We were packing up our backpacks to go home for the day. My desk was closest to the classroom door, and I was ready to get out of there. I don’t know what it was that came over me, but all these conditions started forming to where I felt I could ‘try’ something just to try it. I saw one of my classmates walking around the tables towards where I was sitting on the ground. My backpack was nestled up next to me. Even though I was just a kid, I felt very adult in the moment, feeling like I needed to see what kind of power I could wield.
He was about to cross in front of me. No one was paying attention. I made it as inconspicuous as possible. As he was about to walk past, I pushed my backpack into his path, causing him to trip and slam his face into the corner of the desk. His nose was bleeding everywhere as he cried. The teacher came over and hustled him to the nurse’s office. No one saw me. I never got in trouble. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my mom. It was just an accident. But I knew it wasn’t. This kid had done nothing to me, I had no reason to do what I did. I was five, but is that even an excuse? You can let the evil creep in at any age. It’s just a matter if you want to walk through that gate or not.
Even all these years later, I don’t harbor guilt about it. I just know I shouldn’t have done that. My classmate did not deserve to hurt himself and I’m sorry I was the one to hurt him. However, even as a kid, I knew right then and there that there was something in me that was wicked, that had the ability to be cruel with no feeling. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to pursue it. I promised myself right then and there to never intentionally hurt someone ever again. But it looks like my fellow humans aren’t making the same vow.
Everything going on right now feels so intentional, so purposeful in order to harm us. They want us divided and angry at one another so they can sneak away scott free and never have to answer for their crimes. That’s evil. To go out of your way to be cruel. And I can’t say I don’t have it in me. Clearly I do. But something stronger than it won out. I hope those playing their part on the world stage choose against it, or if they don’t, are held accountable for their evils. Because the way things are going, the earth is liable to open up and reveal Hell one of these days. Maybe it already happened. Perhaps when the gates close again, they can take all the unrepentant along with them. I’ve got no time for evil anymore. And neither should you.
