My December to Remember: Day Twenty-Three
News: Former Congressman Matt Gaetz files injunction to stop release of House Ethics Committee report on him, released anyway showing a long line of drug use and paying for s*x, even with girl as young as 17.
Biden commutes all but three federal death row sentences to life in prison with no possibility of parole.
Two dead after Brazilian bridge collapses, man documenting the poor shape of the bridge catches the collapse on camera.
New photos obtained by America First Legal show then-VP Biden introducing son Hunter to Chinese dignitaries with Hunter’s Chinese business partner in tow.
Kim Kardashian makes stupid “Santa Baby” video that I didn’t watch but everyone else hates it and thinks it’s an abomination.
We are cursed. That’s exactly what all this feels like. We simply were cursed a long time ago and this is all just us dealing with it. I wrote about this two years ago and the feels are just as prevalent now. Only it’s not so much me being cursed as it is the rest of the world dealing with it. The nastiness, the snobbery, the idea that absolutely batsh*t insane morons are still in charge around here, and there isn’t a dang thing any of us can do about it. I’m exhausted, I’m tired, and I’m about to wave my own magic wand and tell each and every one of these corrupt d*ckheads to f*ck off. If only I could just find out where I put it.
It’s times like this I think back on my mother. She really did seem to be the light of everyone in our family’s life. My grandmother used to ask her, “Where did you come from?!” as a kid because she was just so out of the norm from the rest of the clan. Though she was the black sheep, she was always the standout star as well. Everyone loved her and admired her. She was everything good in this world. That’s what I keep telling myself in my moments of reflection and longing to have just one more day with her. But to actually have that done would take an act that doesn’t come from a higher power, so I leave those thoughts to rest and only remember the blessings.
Only one little conversation keeps standing out. It was toward the end. Ma wasn’t saying actual words anymore. I could only interpret based on her tone and sentiment. She was speaking to me about something I didn’t understand on a day I was feeling low like today. “Ma, are we cursed?” I cut in to ask her. Without hesitation, and with complete lucidity, she replied, “Oh, yeaaaah.” It was chilling. She was so sure of it. She went on to say something else but I could not fully understand. All I knew in that moment was she felt me too, and no amount of magic dust could carry me away from my reality.
Now I’m completely without her. I can’t just call her up and have an hours-long conversation about the world, life, our feelings, all the things she’d list that made me happy, as she was always looking out for my well-being. I hate thinking this way, but whatever curse may have been put upon us broke after she went to Heaven. I’m not saying she was the catalyst for it. I just think a lot of people in her life put their own spin on who she was and what she stood for, and never really gave her a chance to just be herself. A lot was put upon her, and she vanquished it all when she left. That’s what I’d like to think anyway. Whatever personal turmoil I felt cursed with is just no longer there. It’s the rest of the world I’m afraid of.
Today was one of those days where I was a stereotypical woman during that time of the month. So I did have my own curse to deal with. But it’s nothing compared to what all the other people conjured up long ago, and will now be forced to confront “when all this is over.” It’s just a matter of finding the next thing that breaks and summons the demons back to the hell they came from so we can seal it off forever this time. There’s no more place for all this evil anymore. It just doesn’t fit. I believe the shift, though it’s always in motion, is certainly coming. It’s just that the enchantment will begin in a much better place than what we’ve been used to seeing.
I’m not responsible for the rest of the world. I do have to remember that. Maybe my magic wand has been within me this whole time, and it’s a matter of the good thoughts pouring out to counteract the witchery put out there for so long. I’m really trying to stay positive. A new year is coming. Why let any spell take effect anymore?
