April Awakening: Day Thirty ☁️☁️☁️
There are certain things going on out there that aren’t going to stop until they do. Like these protests going on at American college campuses. You can call them whatever you want, Anti-Israel, Pro-Palestine, annoying, important, whatever. There’s one thing I can be certain of, and it’s that these things are just not going to stop. Whoever has decided to take up this cause will stick with it to the very end. And I’m doing all I can to hope however it ends isn’t in a spectacular and unsalvageable wreck, though some people are comfortable going full speed into disaster.
Not me. I can’t ever wish for that. I always hope that at the end, everyone gets exactly what they want. Is that too unrealistic? Too idealized? Too wrong for your standards? Because at some point, we all have to move on from whatever it is we’re currently doing. And maybe that’s just because its natural ending has finally arrived. You pulled up to your final destination and got out long ago and left your mode of transport for someone else to take on their own special journey. They’ll simply be starting where you left it off.
There was something I was thinking about all the time. Something I thought I’d never stop thinking about. Something I was letting live in places that it just wasn’t right to. I can say that now as it’s fully behind me. Because somewhere deep down, I knew it simply wasn’t right. I was told that to my face. That it felt wrong to be with me. I should have listened. And maybe I should have taken that at face value, because God help me, I felt the exact same thing. I just didn’t want to believe it at the time. My long and winding road ended up in the same place I began: with just me in the driver’s seat.
Now that I finally feel like I have a travel buddy, as long as we keep choosing that, I find myself wondering what on earth I was ever thinking. How could I have put up with such treatment for so long? Why did I put so much stock in a gas tank that was never properly filled? There’s no pining over this individual anymore. Should any thought cross my mind, I’m mostly letting go of the residual anger. The hurt. The pain. The wish that one day I might be able to say I’m sorry for driving you crazy in all the wrong ways too.
Because now it’s over. There’s nothing more to say. Everything has already ended. The ride has ground to a complete halt. The ending may not have been the happiest, but it was at least the right one. The one that made the most sense. And that’s really all I wish for in life, to have things come to their natural conclusions without a lot of hassle. Because you can’t rely on a lemon to be there for you for the long haul. Sometimes another model is a better fit. And you’ll both be focused on the same road ahead instead of diverting paths that unfortunately go nowhere.
You can’t know until the end of the line sometimes. And hopefully by then, you’re just too excited to be on route you’ve finally found yourself on.
Until next time.