28) crackedtastrophe

April Awakening: Day Twenty-Eight ☀️☀️🌤️

I broke one of my friend’s dishes last night. I wanted to at least do some of the dishes, since he always insists on doing them, and I felt like I needed to give back somehow. “It’s fine, I got them,” he always says, but this time it was me being insistent. “I’ll just do a half,” I told him, and he allowed it. There was still a few remnants of salad in one of the bowls, and I had the bright idea to scoop it out over the garbage can, using my foot to hold open the lid, instead of just taking out the excess lettuce with one hand and holding open the lid with the other. Nope, my incredibly soapy hands could not hold onto the bowl for long, and it simply stumbled right out of my hands.

For a moment I thought it wouldn’t break, but as soon as I saw it plummet, I knew what was coming. Crash, smash, it broke in two solid pieces. “I’m sorry!” immediately flew out of my mouth and he just laughed. I couldn’t stop saying sorry and he just kept telling me it’s fine. “This is why you didn’t want me to do the dishes,” I said, which caused him to laugh even more. “They’re such nice bowls!” I kept hollering, so wracked with guilt over what I had done, knowing and feeling he wasn’t the least bit upset with me and my clumsy little self.

He said it was fine but didn’t let me forget about it. He called me a “bowl-breaker” instead of a “ball-breaker” when I was being a bit of a nudge. Just some light prodding at the absurdity of the entire situation. I feel bad, but I said “I’ll stop breakin’ your bowls if you stop breakin’ my bawls.” And through it all, I got the sense that he just might actually know me better than I know myself in some respects, blunders and all.

It’s not always easy to let someone in enough to see all your foibles and failings, especially when they’re aspects of self you haven’t quite accepted yourself. I am clumsy. I’ve broken or chipped at least three of my own dishes in the past six months. I roll my ankle probably three times that in just a week. Things easily slip out of my hands and it just makes me upset. And now someone other than me sees all my shortcomings and just accepts them for what they are. I think. I hope.

All in all, I think my friend knows I’m just trying to help. With both of us being only children, we know the importance of having our own spaces. My coming over does invade a bit, but he’s happy to have me there, just like I’m happy to be there. I just have to remember not to act so much like a bull in a china shop. Denying nature just might end us up with too much broken to repair.