April Awakening: Day Nine ☁️☁️⛅️
I’m told I have a good laugh. So did my mother. And my grandmother. When I chuckle, I can hear the latter. When I really throw it back, I hear the former. It’s a nice succession to be a part of, especially when it’s regarding something that really puts a smile on your face. Literally.
I had a laughing fit at work today. I read a YouTube comment on a niche video that would take too long to explain here, and was too long to explain to my co-workers. They just watched as my voice whistled, tears rolled down my cheeks, and my head thrown back in laughter. I couldn’t stop. They all started laughing at my laughing and I kept apologizing between gasps. We were done work by then so it’s not like I was shirking. But it felt good getting this moment in the day, and it finally felt like it wasn’t a “needed” belly-laugh. Just one that comes with the smiling territory.
There’s times I’ve said “I needed that” after either a good laugh or a good cry. I understand the sentiment. It’s a release of emotion either way you jest. But speaking for myself, it’s starting to feel like these moments are no longer necessary in order for me to progress as a person. Like I don’t have to reach a threshold under it’s time for a release. It’s not a bad thing if that’s how it works for others, it’s just different for me this go-around. I have nothing holding me back anymore. Nothing to keep my head on a swivel, looking at all that happened in the past to justify how I feel in the present. I’m simply here. I’m experiencing what I need to. And a lot of that time comes with far more moments to crack up instead of break down.
I always love those moments of pure laughter; Ones where you can barely catch your breath or even explain why something is so funny. It’s real. It’s involuntary. They are necessary, and I’m at the point where the “need” isn’t. It’s all just what happens to me. It’s a makeup of who I am and what makes me tick. Try it sometime. Keep discovering those deep-seeded yucks and remember how they feel.
And just for shits and giggles, here’s my mom laughing her butt off after I showed her The Lonely Island’s “Jizz in my Pants” music video for the first time. I’ll never forget this moment. Or her laugh.