April Awakening: Day Seven ⛅️☁️☀️
“I’m so tired.”
That’s usually the first thing I either say or hear each morning at work. We’re all so exhausted. Crawling through it. Awake but not. My alarm goes off at 2:15AM every day and I stay in bed until almost 3:00AM. I just don’t want to get up. I want to keep sleeping. The best part of my day sometimes is that after-work nap. But what can I really blame this fatigue on these days? Because it’s getting exhausting to say the news is the only thing at fault.
Nothing is really wowing me these days when I’m left to my own devices. I’m not sure if it’s the X algorithm or what, but the internet is probably where the most weariness sets in. It’s just anger and hate and obnoxiousness being flung at you from every corner of the galaxy. This side is right while this one is bad and how dare you not fall for the gaslighting that everything is fine and dandy here in the once-Greatest City in the World. And it’s a fruitless endeavor to engage in an attempt to change hearts and minds. It’s hard just being a person right now, and I don’t like the feeling that the only reliable thing right now is the comfort of my couch.
I only had one day in the last week where someone told me “I’m tired,” and I could comfortably say I was awake. I almost felt bad about it, but nothing was getting me down in that moment. I was clear-eyed and full of energy. I don’t know what brought on that sentiment, but it hasn’t been seen since. I wish there was a way to bring myself back from the burnout, but for now it seems I’ll just be sleepwalking through the process.
There’s a lot on all our plates these days. It’s natural to feel out of it, especially as the news stories get even more ridiculous as the days go on. I just want to be in a position where none of the insanity exists anymore. To actually be in a spot where we can be energized after our meditation instead of more tired when we open our eyes. Something strange has been keeping us magnetized to our beds, and I’m hoping whatever it is unlocks the vice grip soon. Because as we approach November, it’s only going to get crazier out there. It’d be a choice to stay asleep through it.
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