February Focus: Day Twenty-Three
a) speeding into the future
At this point, it’s safe to say Artificial Intelligence has taken root in our daily lives. Chips are in high demand and the tech space is expanding by the day. That doesn’t have to mean we let it do all the thinking for us. It’s there for our use to help swing things along. If we use the internet, we participate in some facet of A.I. If we use news aggregate sites, we rely on internal algorithms to bring our favorite sites to the surface. If we’re one of those “influencers,” we benefit from impressions to move our content along. So there’s always some digital passenger riding with us, whether we type with our fingers or we work with our hands.
But not all digital footprints are created equal. I saw a thread on X about how algorithms know if you’re interacting with an “unfavorable” account. One of those dreaded shadowbanned people. Just too spicy for the cream of the crop. One mutual said she doesn’t care if there’s something that’ll push her down, as the conversations she has online are too important to pass up. I respect that. I hope whatever A.I. is still at work on X balances out soon. Because I feel pushed down by the online space lately. And perhaps the reason I’m running on empty is because I’m the wrong grade of gas in the tank.
b) bump in the road
I’m collecting a lot of bots these days. I don’t know if everyone else is experiencing it, but the social media sites I visit are just chockful of them. Female accounts promising their ladyparts liking one of my old tweets. A crypto bro directing me to the link in his bio. It’s frustrating to see, actually, as it’s driving me to question anything I’m looking at online. Is that news story legitimate? Were people actually enjoying my entries, or is it just some inflated data? How is this guy on Tinder not just an A.I. figment of my imagination? Some of what these boys say as to who they are and what they’re looking for is bizarre enough to question. “Ethical Non-Monogamist” my big fat tailpipe.
I’ve written about being pushed out of the YouTube algorithm at this point in my social media “career,” if you can even call it that. It matters not. When the inspiration to write or make a silly gaming video creeps up, I do it for me and anyone who wants to enjoy the ride. Lately I’ve been getting loads of smaller horror gaming channels in my YouTube feed, and I’ve been liking their gaming commentary. But I feel bad knowing they aren’t getting the views they deserve. I try to watch all I can as they keep putting out content and trying to grow their channels. I’ll give likes and comments here and there. However, I’ve been facing some anxiety that maybe my blemish is what’s keeping them down in the first place. As though association with my account makes the videos not conducive to the algorithm. This may be unfounded, but when you have as storied a history with the internet as I do, it’s not unusual to see the momentum be ground to an inexplicable halt.
c) online gear shift
I’ve been using the internet since I was thirteen. I’ve said a lot over the years. I’ve written about some of it here. I did livestreams for an entire year. I got emotional a lot. I have absolutely no idea what I might have said to anger the ether of the internet gods, causing the algorithm to keep slamming the brakes on cutting me a break. It’s a realization along the same lines as thinking maybe you’re the toxic one in all your relationships, and that is why they fail. It’s not the outside world’s fault. Perhaps you’re just a lemon after all.
What I hope is that whatever unknown entity that’s in the online driver’s seat begins to ride on an even keel again. We’ve already seen the more nefarious and biased side of things skid off the road, thankfully, so now a reset is needed. Whatever internet baggage there may have been, it’s no longer there. Because no one’s closet is clean. There’s no moral authority anymore because there’s no standards to begin with. And until we’re back in service and get the GPS’s working again, we may as well reset things and all start at speedometer zero.
I just don’t want to feel like the internet black sheep anymore. I don’t work well as an underdog. Because it seems she never has her day. Not one that has put her on the map yet, anyway. Oh well. There’s plenty of time to repair things with the right technical know-how and a pedal-to-the-metal attitude. As long as we know the difference between riding the algorithmic wave and simply spinning our wheels around it.
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