My December to Remember 3: Day Seven
News: House GOP introduces resolution to authorize Biden impeachment.
UPenn president issues apology after Capitol Hill testimony.
NYC’s Adams approval rating at 28%, lowest-ever for a NYC mayor.
Hamas members reportedly surrender to IDF.
It was a little hard to pay attention today. Nothing bad happened. In fact, everyone was in a great mood and we were all getting along, cracking jokes and generally having a good time at work. And when the news is as spicy as it’s getting, it makes things extra exciting.
But about halfway through the show I felt my mind beginning to wander, and I still had a reporter hit to get through. I noticed I hadn’t gotten elements from his producer yet, so I went to the latest email in my inbox from him.
“HI DO YOU HAVE ELEMENTS FOR THE 0800 HIT?”
Moments later, the PA across from me, who was on the email chain, told me, “Oh wow, what a passive-aggressive email back.” I asked her what she meant, and she told me to look at my email. Sure enough, there it was in my inbox:
“They’re on this email you just replied to.”
Oops. I felt really stupid for a second there. All I could email back was:
“OH WHOOPS MY B THANK YOU.”
The reporter then messaged back with an “All good!” And that was the end of it. But I still felt like a tool.
I went about my day with about an hour left in show. I needed a live version of “All I Want for Christmas” to play on air (sorry for the earworm) so I purchased it off Amazon with a few other tunes I wanted put in the system. I sent to our music department, making it clear I had bought the three songs, when the lead director emailed back, telling me he could not ingest them.
“We cannot take music in that you ripped from YouTube, please purchase it instead.”
Well, I wasn’t mad. Not in the slightest. Because I knew I was right. I simply emailed back and said I did buy these songs, and even took a screenshot of my Amazon receipt. A little while later, I got back another email.
“Okay, sorry, usually Amazon files have metadata attached and there was none. We’ll ingest now.”
And I replied back with a good old fashioned “All good!”
It was a day for saying sorry about the smallest misunderstandings. Which might be okay as the world sets up for the biggest apology tour of them all.
I apologize for things I need to apologize for. Sometimes I do that female wilting-flower thing where I apologize for simply existing in the path of someone else. I’m trying to get better about that but in the end, I don’t particularly care. I don’t sit around and wait for the “I’m sorrys” to roll in when I know I’m in the right. We all have that mea culpa in us, it all depends on how we wield that power.
What it’s feeling like lately is the more things get found out, the more an “I’m sorry” simply won’t cut it anymore. There are things that will never be apologized away, especially when we see the magnitude of lives destroyed by what was done. And frankly, there’s plenty of people out there who won’t apologize, even when they’ve been found out.
I doubt a single person here in NYC would ever even squelch out a “my bad” when they’re the ones who put this knucklehead in charge of the mayorship. Or the First Family apologizing for bilking the taxpayer and profiting off American influence for seemingly decades at this point. It’s disappointing, but it’s not going to make me feel better to get a flaccid fake apology over seeing real true justice take hold.
Honestly, I’m getting to the point where I don’t want to hear it from anyone. I want things fixed and working again. I want to feel safe again. These people on Capitol Hill bloviate about how “their friends on the other side of the aisle” are the ones who are the bad guys, with not even a whiff of humility that they’re part of the problem too. My fear is we haven’t even begun to hit rock bottom yet, and we’re already not able to see the light coming in from above anymore.
I have no words of comfort about this right now. Sorry. All you can really do is enjoy the day you have right now. We’re not guaranteed a tomorrow. But if you’ve got a clear conscious, you shouldn’t have to worry about what you’re going to wake up to. No apologies needed for an authentic life.
